Gourmet dresses……

Back to the bucket list, after having my portacath fitted on January 17th so that I no longer have to suffer the indignities of being a pin cushion every time I need a blood test taken or a cannula fitted for CT scans, its not quite gone to plan and I have ended up in hospital with a high temperature, I am still rattling with antibiotics to make sure that any infection doesn’t take hold and while I don’t feel great I know I will get there and in the long run this will be something positive.

Every month or so my friend Carrie and I go and sample something from the local eateries, now and again we go further but we find that in the 5 mile radius of Settle we have got some great places to go and if we stay in Settle we can both have a nightcap (just a small one obviously!)

So when I said that on my bucket list was to go to a Michelin Star Restaurant then Carrie was the only person to take with me. There are 3 in our local area but the only one I wanted to go to was the Box Tree Restaurant in Ilkley. In my teens I had passed there in the bus on my way to work and thought what type of people dined at such a beautiful place – well its people like me and Carrie!

From when we entered the restaurant to when we left nothing was too much trouble. Everything was described and brought to us as though we were the first customers they had ever dealt with and I suppose at the end of the day this is what you pay for.

The whole experience was worth the bill at the end and while Carrie and I will go back to doing our ‘normal’ meals out this was number 24 ticked off in style – actually got to tick off number 22 as well which was Eat Something New and I had truffles – there wasn’t enough to make it something I would say I would buy but not nasty to say I wouldn’t eat again if offered.

I chose Sunday lunch for 2 reasons – one financial, as a 3 course meal it was going to be cheaper than the evening one of multiple courses with wine in between and the second being that the menu was something I liked.

Now to dresses and more specifically WEDDING dresses. Originally in 2020 my friend Aileen in Hartlepool had organised through another bridal shop to go and try on dresses, severe lockdown restrictions came into force and everything was cancelled. As the industry had been so badly hit and not knowing how I would feel I thought this might be one I permanently on hold.

https://dreamdress.co.uk/ – Cinderella’s Skipton

Then Lucy came to the rescue, its not what you know but who you know. And that was Mandy, owner of Cinderella’s in Skipton – to me the best bridal shop ever. So the reasoning behind why I at the age of 56 I wanted to try on wedding dresses when there is no chance of being a bride – because I have been engaged twice so wanted the whole ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ experience (well I watch enough of the programmes)

I think I checked out her website nearly everyday looking to see what I liked and what I thought would suit me. Excitement was building up inside and it was going to be made even more special as Aileen was coming down from Hartlepool staying overnight at The Golden Lion. It seemed fitting really since she had organised the cancelled first one.

To me the bucket list is about making memories with family and friends and as we were limited to who I could bring Mum was priority, my sister Erika, Hannah (nephews partner), Aileen and of course Lucy.

I really was worried the night before when I was throwing up at midnight whether the day would ever go ahead and luckily by the time the morning rolled around I was feeling much better – hoping that a few pounds might be lost to fit into the dresses.

Tuesday 10am saw us go down to Skipton – I think everyone was excited at this stage. The range of dresses was massive but I had my list of about 12 dresses as I knew just the effort of stepping into a dress would take it out of me.

Meeting Mandy for the first time was a pleasure, normally I would feel uncomfortable walking into shops where most of the dresses weren’t in my size and the people selling them were all taller, thinner and definitely younger. But Mandy made me (and I am sure all her clients) feel as though they are wrapped in a hug as soon as they enter the door, pure northern and Yorkshire hospitality.

She doesn’t believe that there should be dresses for thin girls and a section for the say more curvy but that the dresses should be available in all sizes but with her knowledge and many years of experience she knows which style will suit each body type and I can vouch that she really knows what worked for me.

After posting the photos on Facebook everyone says how happy I looked and each dress, whether it be be the big puffy ballgown one that I first tried on (and the one Mum cried at) to the black femme fatal one that everyone loves, each one made me feel fantastic.

I am so glad that I really wasn’t getting married as I really wouldn’t have known which to choose and then because there were so many you would always worry was this the one. I am glad we all took photos as the one I liked the best in store wasn’t the one that I thought I looked best in camera wise – saying that everyone has their favourite.

The sofa has been my friend since then – not been feeling 100% since but thats the price to pay for making memories.

Next stop in 10 days time is a short break with Mum to Zurich so have to be fighting fit for that, seeing family I haven’t seen in over a decade.

Its been a while…

A lot has happened, well it would do as it was November when I last posted – Christmas is over and we are into another year, 2022, what will that bring? We are now going into a third year of uncertainty but hopefully one where we learn to live with COVID and not be governed by it. I sometimes sit and think, will the country get back on its feet in my limited lifetime, so many people have been affected, and financially it will take decades until the money that was borrowed to shore us all up is paid back.

But I can’t look that far forward – my life is in 3 month blocks and so far I am on January to March. Scans done in December showed that the lesion in my pelvic bone is stable so can still call me Mable but I have a hiatus hernia (which causes terrible heartburn) and some benign granulomas in my lungs. Still in a lot of pain on my right side but they can find no reason for this so have been given painkillers to help.

well they can never find blood!

A letter at the beginning of December from my Breast specialist regarding my mammogram in September apologised for not getting back to me sooner as they had noticed changes in my primary breast from my previous one and a biopsy was needed to see if there was anything sinister. This has only just been done this week due to a number of factors and I will get the results on the 18th. The day before I go in hospital for a operation to have a portacath fitted – my veins have collapsed now and bloods have to be taken from my feet, CT scans have to be done without contrast as they cannot put a cannula in.

So treatment and hospital appointments still go on, life still goes on. Had a lovely Christmas and I cooked dinner (except the Turkey) for 6 of us – it took its toll though and I slept like a baby afterwards. New Year I was up just to raise a glass of Baileys with Mum and my brother and then bed!

Xmas dinner nom nom

December I was able to go to Lanzarote and have a lovely holiday at the Sandos Papagayo Resort, 24 hr All Inclusive, I had a fantastic room with a sea view and when I didn’t feel 100% I stayed in my room, read or watched TV or Netflix and always had the knowledge I could get something to eat or drink day or night.

View from Room
Feet action

Mum and I were supposed to visit family in Switzerland the week after but due to new rules by both Governments this has now been changed to February. Other things planned off my bucket list for the next few months is an Italian Course for beginners at the local college (Jan) Leeds Utd Football match with brother (Jan) Michelin star restaurant with friend (Jan) Going to be a bride for the day – trying on wedding dresses at Cinderallas (Feb)

Bucket List for March is a bit bare but sure I will find something, just have to get op and results over with first. Still knitting in fact I am doing more than ever at the moment, winter with hair loss is the pits and when I lost mine I was blessed with so many friends that sent me hats and head coverings so now that I can knit I am repaying it to the ladies in the support group I am in.

colours galore

I wish everyone a healthy and happy 2022. Make memories. Live laugh and love. Life is definitely for living as you only get one.

How many steps do I take?

Two steps forwards and 3 steps back!

This is how I feel this month and its been one of mixed emotions. After my holiday I had quite a few things planned, getting back to my bucket list, spending time with family and friends.

Soon after treatment I went to write my Will and while it was a simple thing to do – I haven’t much to leave – the reality of doing it when it might be used in the not so distant future made me upset. Still if being diagnosed has taught me anything is that you don’t leave things until the last moment. Strike while the iron is hot, another thing crossed off.

I also had my 3rd Pfizer vaccine – not a booster but the actual jab again as I am immunosuppressant – feel as though its my comfort blanket knowing that I am giving myself and others the chance not to be gravely ill from COVID. When you have had friends die all conspiracy theories and peoples blasé attitudes go out the window.

When I was diagnosed with stage V breast cancer a friend, Michelle, directed me to a wonderful Facebook page called Stage4deservesmore, I can honestly say the ladies in this group have got me through the bad times and have shared the good ones. Gemma the founder of the Group organised a Halloween lunch in Chapel-en-le-Frith so I jumped at the chance to meet some of the women I have been chatting daily too.

Don’t believe that having women together who have a life limiting illness is all doom and gloom, OK we might not be able to stay out until the early hours (well I certainly can’t) but we can party as much as the next person! They say laughter is the best medicine and it certainly was the best tonic.

I came back really early as Sue Ryder and Manorlands were organising the Settle Loop – a 10.5 mile trail race where you can run/walk/cycle or even ride a horse. Helping out basically meant for me sitting down, drinking cups of tea, eating bacon butties and waiting for everyone to come back so I could hand them their medal. It could have been a bit warmer – strike that it could have been a lot warmer and I was wrapped in blankets to keep me warm. Had such a brilliant day – the last one for a while.

Sunday I felt rubbish but just put it down to the fact that I had done too much – the 3 steps back scenario – so laid on the sofa trying to sleep it off. But things started going downhill and I couldn’t keep anything down and the only option was to phone my team for advice.

Hospital – A&E – and then Acute Assessment Ward. Hooked up to drips both IV fluid and IV paracetamol for the next 3 days they struggled to stop me losing fluids. Tests came back that I had no infection and no bugs – so the doctor could only conclude that I had a build up of toxins from Palbocicilib one of my cancer drugs. As I had been taken off it on arrival at the hospital it just meant meant a wait – wait for me to feel better and on Wednesday I decided to come home, they always say home is where the heart is!

Since being home I have done nothing much, appetite is coming back, have lost about 6lbs in weight (needed) and even though the weather is typical Autumn wet and windy I have managed to take Casey out for 2 short walks. I will hopefully know in the next week if I have to go back on my original treatment or whether that has now stopped working and I will be on second line (scary).

Taking the advise from others about looking out for myself, so although I missed my target or 100 miles swimming – did 36 miles and everyone else who did Molly’s Miles, Samantha who did her miles open swimming, Karen, Emma, Shauna and upcoming Olympian Phoebe as well as Hunter the dog who did quite a few doggy paddles – I have decided not to swim for the foreseeable.

I am proud that I have been able to raise so far £1705 for Sue Ryder Manorlands and Yorkshire Cancer Support and it would be fantastic if before the page ends in November that the £2000 target can be raised.


Once again thank you for your support, the journey continues.

Dying for a holiday

Holiday’s were never a luxury in our household, more like a necessity. When we were younger I can remember Mum & Dad packing all three kids (plus luggage) into the back of the little yellow mini we had at the time, to drive to see my Grandparents in Switzerland. To save money (and a few grey hairs) we would stop off in Germany – no fancy hotels – just a tent!

Selling holidays was a natural step for me and I sold cottages and villa’s for many years (pressing that sunshine button) and my last job was working for my favourite airline – Jet2!

Covid changed everything for the holiday industry, can we go, where can we go, what do we do when we get there and God forbid what happens if everything changes mid way through.

Slowly but surely planes are taking to the sky again and last week I was one of those passengers. Still not easy and things did go wrong – not for me but for my friend Liesl when the NHS app was not updated with both her vaccines and she was not allowed on the flight.

Things were resolved (in a fashion) but not until the following day. But the one thing you can be sure of when you leave a cold Leeds Bradford Airport is that when you arrive at the airport in Fuerteventura on an October afternoon the heat will invariably hit you and continue for most of the week.

And that’s what most of us want – to be taken away from the normality of life just for a short while.

My treatment is a 3 week cycle with one week off and after landing I will have my bloods taken Wednesday (today) at the hospital with meds and injections Thursday – even though I can’t say that I felt 100% most of the time with aches and pains and general lethargy I ate well, had a few cocktails and even went on a boat trip – that reminded me that I probably don’t have the sea legs I once had!

Masks and sanitiser are the norm abroad, much more so than the UK as they don’t seem to be up to our vaccine programme so are much more cautious. It’s also sad that when strolling about bars and restaurants which would once be full of people are quiet with some closed altogether. A reminder that while Staycation is great for our economy if we don’t get back to overseas travel many more businesses will suffer.

On a lighter note I finished my Channel Challenge of 21 miles – had 3 days to do 2 1/2 miles and did it quite easily, residents of the hotel were suitably impressed when I was first in the pool every morning to do my laps – that stopped once the challenge finished.

So where next?

Have a few things planned. A fish and chip supper along the Leeds Liverpool Canal with Mum on Friday, a meet up with friends in the Peak District at the end of October and Scotland with more friends to see Steps in Concert in November.

My advise for anyone. Just do it.

**** Blog written 12.10.21 at 17.04 on the plane coming home ****


Say my name like it’s the last time,
Live today like its your last night,
We want to cry but we know its alright,
Cause I’m with you and your with me,
Butterflies, butterflies, we were meant to fly,
You and I, you and I, colors in the sky,
We could rule the world someday,
Somehow but we’ll never be as bright as we are now. We’re standing in a light that won’t fade,
Tomorrow’s coming but this won’t change,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I’m gonna take my life through,
Cause some days stay gold forever. Promise me you’ll stay the way you are,
Keep the fire alive and stay young at heart,
When the storm feels like it could blow you out remember,
You got me and I got you
Cause we are, butterflies, butterflies. We were meant to fly,
You and I, you and I, colors in the sky,
When the innocence is dead and gone,
These will be the times we look back on. We’re standing in a light that won’t fade,
Tomorrow’s coming but this won’t change,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I’m gonna take my life through,
Cause some days stay gold forever. I won’t, I won’t let your memory go
Cause your colors they burn so bright,
Who knows, who knows what tomorrow will hold
But I know that we’ll be alright Butterflies, butterflies. We were meant to fly,
You and I, you and I, colors in the sky,
We could rule the world someday,
Somehow but we’ll never be as bright as we are now. We’re standing in a light that won’t fade,
Tomorrow’s coming but this won’t change,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I’m gonna take my life through,
Cause some days stay gold forever.

They say everyone has one record, usually the one that was played at their wedding and that they had their first dance to, can remember a special time – I had a couple prior to this My Sharona by The Knack, the first record I ever bought and Tubthumping by Chumbawamba – I was working at a pub in Zurich in my 30’s and I loved this song. So what has this anything to do with the lyrics above GOLD FOREVER by THE WANTED I hear you say?

When I heard this song sang live at the Royal Albert Hall last week by them in aid of Stand up for Cancer and knowing what it means for Tom Parker and all fellow stage 4 cancer patients, I will not say I am a sufferer as I am living the best life I can while I can, but the words resonated with me and I wanted this to be a song which will be played to remember me. When the song ended there wasn’t anyone that wasn’t crying, including me.

On a lighter note DNCE – Cake by the Ocean is one I would always dance to – who doesn’t like cake?

Cake by the Ocean

As I said life is for living an I have been doing just that – with a little help from my friends. First on the list was a day out in Blackpool and without Liesl and Gazza it wouldn’t have been such a laugh – and to think Miss L thought I would have been offended by the chariot that awaited me! Not a horse, not a donkey or even a private driver (complete with hat) – this is after all the Benidorm of the North and nothing but a double mobility scooter would do!

Zooming around Blackpool

If you think going on a Reality TV show will make you famous, forget it just hire one of these bad boys, people were pointing, laughing, stopping to ask where we had got it from and more importantly – take photos (they did say they would miss our heads out!!)

Being able to get about without getting out of breath and doing the WHOLE of the prom at 7mph was brilliant. The sun was shining so we couldn’t ask for more, the only thing that ached was my sides from laughing!

Been busy knitting hats for charity – had 10 on order and today I am on my last one, all various colours with nice big pom poms on – next project I am doing hats for premature babies. Since learning to knit (on YouTube) I have found it relaxing – don’t like counting stitches so make the patterns easy.

Sometimes I have to remember that if I do too much one day it will take it out of me the next and maybe even 2 days. That day was Saturday when I went with Carrie to Lancaster for an Italian meal before seeing a Tina Turner tribute act. Meal and company were amazing and although Tina was OK in a drag act kind of way the dances were dreadful (but I was fixated on how bad they were) It took took me 2 days to get over what I saw, good job we could see the funny side.

Swimming has been put on hold this week due to the madness of getting fuel – 18 miles return journey 5 times a week can’t be justified as I need to get to Leeds Bradford Airport on Tuesday to take me to Fuerteventura, a week in the sun and until earlier in the week a lonely one but Liesl to the rescue and she managed to get time off and a surprise phone call announced I would have my partner in crime with me. Now on countdown – even managed to get travel insurance that didn’t break the bank although at £180 I know a lot of people wouldn’t pay it. But for me peace of mind.

So next photos should see me with a tan, on my week off treatment so oncologist OK with travel. Have some other things planned for October but now the nights are getting shorter (and colder) I will be staying in more. Still watch this space.

What’s next?

Getting results back is always worrying and after the CT scan that noticed I had something in my head but couldn’t confirm what, the next MRI and results were going to nerve racking. Knowing a meeting was scheduled Thursday and I would get to know soon after softened the wait. And when the Breast Cancer nurse rings instead of the oncologist with the answers this alleviates all fears – bad news always comes from higher up!

I have a what is called a meningioma – a benign tumour which at 12mm, they say is nothing to worry about, well for another year at least when I will get another scan. No intervention, no losing my driving licence, just to be aware there is something there and if I get any further symptoms SHOUT.

So back to life and living it! No putting things on hold. Excited that for 3 months at least I can start to plan things, who doesn’t like doing things?

Treatment starts back on Thursday, the dreaded bloods are arranged at the hospital on Tuesday and in-between I have bucket list Nr43 planned – Seeing the Northern Ballet (live on screen at Victoria Hall, Settle) doing Dangerous Liaison’s. Decided against going to see my first ballet in a Theatre just in case I hated it.

Jumped at the chance of going to Blackpool on Wednesday, with the weather forecast as being wet and cold there won’t be any dipping toes in the sea or any sunbathing but the beauty of going there is there are always things to do inside. Liesl and I are just going to have fun with a capital F!


Meals out with friends are always high on the agenda, time to catch up and eat fabulous food, so Thursday I will be savouring the delights of Sydney’s in Settle (food and cocktails) with Carrie.

And then there is knitting – progressed from scarfs to hats – adorned with beautiful pom-poms. Decided to make them and offer them to friends for a donation to Stage4deservesmore. Admin Gemma and Jude and all the ladies who are part of this Facebook page have got me through the last 13 months. Knowing that I am not alone, sad to say that it is a growing community with people there that don’t or shouldn’t be there. Secondary breast cancer is not talked about enough but in a week where Sarah Harding died it has been talked about more by the media. There still needs to be more done. https://www.stage4deservesmore.com

Pompom Hats

Have completed 15.5 miles of my Channel Swim of 21 miles – last week managed to get a few sessions in where I did a mile at a time but the weather was beautiful and I got to chill outside on the sunbeds while doing nothing. Won’t be doing this too many times as it takes nearly 3 hours out of my day but enjoyed the time for me.

Virgin Money giving have decided to cease after November so I have 2 options – step up a gear so that I can finish the 100 miles before then or 2) be realistic that I won’t be able to complete it and alter my challenge. I will keep on going until then – November is 2 months away and a lot can be done in that time.

Hunter the gorgeous German Shepherd did his 43 laps of the doggie pool to add to Molly’s miles – anyone want to add their mile to the list get swimming and let me know.


Having raised £1695 of a £2000 target I feel overwhelmed by everyone’s support and know that by the 30th November I will be able to complete all my targets both swimming and fundraising.

Until then going to make the most of every day.

#makingmemories -lots

I have read that maybe a bucket list might not be the best thing to do in my situation because the heartbreak of not fulfilling them all would be too much, I disagree, they are the things that get me up in the morning when I have had a bad night, the excitement of being with friends or family while we all share in my enjoyment.

And boy do I enjoy each and everyone no matter how small. The last couple of weeks have seen me cross off quite a few – proper random ones at that :-

Nr 9 Be in the audience of a TV show – completed 26/08/21 managed to get free tickets to a new TV show hosted by Gary Lineker at Media City in Manchester, went with my brother by train (he was the guide) Front row seats awaited us for the show titled Sitting on a Fortune (remember this and look out for me ITV) A great insight into how they do it, an hour show took 3 hours and Gary is a lot shorter than you think!

Watching Gary Linekar

Nr 17 Finally finished my scarf. 31/08/21 From the start when I had to YouTube how to cast on and off to the trials and tribulations of trying to make my own pompoms and trying to make tassels to finally admitting defeat and buying the most gorgeous fluffy ones from Cottontails. Now starting my second one for Mum and going to try a hat!!

Learning to knit

Nr 20 Volunteer Wanted to do something that I could dip in and out of if I felt good or not and on 21/08/21 I turned up to help at my local park run in Skipton. While running has been part of my life for many years I hate 5km – too fast for this plodder but I do like the running spirit – I am usually one cheering the loudest. So for the last couple of weekends I have been on scanner duty – a chair in the car for when I was tired.

Park Run Volunteer
Molly Molly cocktail

Nr 30 Create my own cocktail – who doesn’t want something named after them and thanks to my Brother-in-Law Stephen the Molly Molly cocktail was created on 28/08/21. Joined by Mum, Aunt Anna, Erika, her MIL Anne and later Andrew, a BBQ soaked up all the liquid calories and after a lot of trials this is MY drink – try if you like – 20cl peach schnapps, 40cl vodka, 20cl Malibu, 80cl pineapple juice, in a shaker with ice – shake shake in glass and top with lemonade decorate with strawberry and umbrella.

Nr 34 Adopt an animal 30/08/21 In a world where there are ever decreasing numbers of animals due to their environment or humans we need people in the world that will help save them. I already donate to a UK Animal charity and have done for a couple of years but on seeing an advert for the WWF decided that I would adopt one of Mum’s favourite animals, a mountain Gorilla. Now at £3 a month I know they may not get much out of me long term but hey its a start.

Adopt a mountain gorilla

Nr 41 This is half done. Was on my list as disgusting as it is, treatment has made my big toenails half detach themselves from the nailbed. Not pretty but in the grand scheme of things who see’s my toenails – oh yes half of Coniston when I jump into the pool. Last week I had a couple of days off from swimming and when I got back a letter behind reception showed me how wonderful friends are – Lorraine Oliver and family have paid for me to have a pedicure at the Spa – words cannot thank them enough as this is the second Bucket List they have helped me fulfil, the first being Nr 10 Zoo Keeper for the day. Cannot wait to be pampered.

Yesterday 3/09/21 Liesl Fairhurst, my partner in crime on so many charity events came with me to get the best thrill (since I am not into fairground rides or zip wires) that I ever wanted to do – drive my favourite EVER car a Porsche, a 911. It wasn’t about the speed but the luxury of the car and after turning up with about another 400+ people to drive their favourite cars in Elvington on a grey Friday afternoon this was a thrill in itself. Mind you the £49 Virgin Experience Day ended up quite a lot more once damage waiver, extra laps, photo package and a demo lap were included (with a screaming Liesl in the back) made the pennies mount up but oh was it worth it. Luckily I wasn’t in the car on my own (the guy did have a brake but you have to go fast to use that) No gear stick but up and down gears on the steering wheel and without a clutch only brake or accelerator . Chicanes and with Lamborghinis and Ferrari’s overtaking me on the inside made me drive slower but as they said it wasn’t about speed but experience. I had the best time and shared it all with a great friend.

Race track buddy Liesl
Ready for off

So as you can see I have been busy making memories but it has been so much more the last couple of weeks. Its been scans and results and more scans. These are always a cause of concern but secondary cancer means that these will never end, until the end, and I hope that isn’t anytime soon. So one bit of good news is that my 4 monthly scans came back stable, no spread in my hip and nothing else in abdomen or chest. The not so great news is that the extra CT scan they did on my head showed a 5p piece of something they can’t determine – whether the cancer has travelled (mets), a benign tumour or cyst.

Another scan would have to be done this time an MRI – clunk clunk clunk goes the machine and is more claustrophobic than any that I have experienced. Plus a head cage (with mirror) completed what I can only describe as horrible even with the anxiety meds, which didn’t seem to kick in until 2 hours after I got home – then I was out for the count for hours! No veins meant 3 people couldn’t attach a cannula for the contrast on the last 2 images meaning I still might have to repeat it. Results back next week at the MDT meeting and I am determined not to worry until there is something to worry about.

Swimming has been put on the back burner a bit, haven’t swam since Monday and have completed 12.5 miles of the channel challenge another 8.5 miles to go and hoping to get a great chunk done Sunday and next week before my results in case I need different treatment and it has to be put on hold.

If you do find a couple of £££’s to help my two charities Sue Ryder Manorlands and Yorkshire Cancer Support then I will be so grateful. Thanks to Hunter the German Shepherd to adding to his laps – anyone wants to swim a lap for Molly’s Mile let me know and I will add to my spreadsheet.


This one was a long one – promise next one will be shorter and hopefully with good news

When Life changes again

Having things to look forward to in a life, when it is are so unpredictable, have seen moments of joy, whether its seeing friends, family or discovering new places, eating and drinking in unusual surroundings.

Trying to fill every corner, not wanting to miss a sight, a sound, that in itself causes such fatigue and sometimes you just want to stop but its like you are chasing time, in a hurry frightened that its going to be taken away too soon. FOMO – that’s my greatest dread – Fear of missing out!

July saw me rushing towards everything, cocktails and an overnight stay with friends Kim and Natalie in Manchester – was supposed to be work related but managed cocktails and dinner too meeting up with later with Andy and Joanne.

Manchester night out with the gang

Not enough with that I jumped on a train at 6am to get back to Settle to drive to Hartlepool to see my mates Aileen and Dave, the drive was easy and while the hotel was not the best I didn’t spend much time in it – having a whirlwind tour of Hartlepool – crutches came in handy when I wanted a rest. Again food and drink played a part in making this a great break but two days out on the trot had taken its toll.

4 angels of the North

I was back at the hospital the day after my return for a check up as I had been having some reactions to drugs I was taking – painful blisters on my hands – meaning treatment had to be stopped again. Discussing with one of my team about how I feel in general – my Mums 85th birthday that had just gone and how I wanted work to be a part of my future.

Having worked since I was 16 – floating from one job to another so my Dad said, always trying to find something that I was either good at or didn’t bore me for more than 5 minutes. I loved the travel industry and felt that I could share my passion for beautiful hotels and places new and unseen. But it was becoming hard to feel the love in a world of uncertainty and customers who were more nervous than excited.

I always thought work would define the person that I am but giving it up has made me realise that I am just me – it still comes back to FOMO – that what will I miss by not being there but I have gained so far by not having the stress when I don’t feel great that I can stay in my pjs or if its nice – like the other day I can take my Mum out.

This month is also a busy one as scans start again (as well as treatment, reduced dose to see if this helps) With the scans come the worry of the results and I have a brain scan Tuesday to start things off, will they find intelligence there that’s the question?

Swimming is still on track – well I would have liked to have done more but some days I have not been well, others I have been away – so I do what I can. Still trying to cross the channel to get and have done 9.5 miles of the challenge to date (21 miles to France) Altogether I have done 24.35 miles (2630 lengths) and so far have raised £1665.

I am so grateful for every donation as are the charities – both help me in my day to day life.


Going for Gold

Today I was channelling my inner Peaty – Adam Peaty that is. Saturday night when I couldn’t sleep I watched him win the breast-stroke semi final with ease and looked mesmerised at the style and the sheer power of his strokes -now if only I could go as fast as that I would have had this challenge finished ages ago. Maybe I need to have a lion tattooed on my shoulder!

In the early hours of this morning he did it again, without me watching this time and brought home GOLD for Great Britain so when I went to the pool at 9am, not really feeling the love I thought of the dedication of all our athletes and the sacrifices they have had to make to get to their best. For every lap of the pool – however slow was for them and a special shout out to Tom Daley after 14 years his first Olympic Gold. Proves that when you are in a happy place like he his, marriage and a child things just simply come together.

I love that the second swimming challenge I have signed up for (to help with the monotony of lane swimming) is not only giving me a medal at the end but depending on how far/fast I swim is also helping the environment by planting trees – real ones! Today I swam 20% of the channel and planted my first tree – thats two now with Cedric who lives a little closer to home.

July 26th

Back to Bucket list – I am having such a great time ticking things off – doing things on my own or with friends. If I was to give any bit of advice I would say don’t wait until you get news like mine before you start doing things. You will miss out on doing so many things, I am having a blast at the moment.

How would I have known that I would have loved BINGO so much, we were treated like royalty by the staff at Buzz Bingo in Keighley. As Bingo Virgins they talked us through the machines (we chose the electronic ones which are idiot proof) and fuelled by fruit cider and cheesy chips we were good to go.

To be honest the first few tickets I still hadn’t a clue what I was doing but after a while got the hang of it – £10 for a line £20 for 2 line and £100 for a full house. It was all quite exciting and we were all on the edges of our seats – would we win, wouldn’t we and by pure luck one of the staff came to check to see if we were OK and noticed I had one number from a full house then unbelievably number called – I shouted HERE and button pressed to claim – another person had shouted too so we both got £50 – not bad for a night out and it bought some more drinks. Can’t wait to go back again and the 20th August is pencilled in – there is some serious money to be won!

Been updating the spreadsheet with the miles as friends have been adding to it so here goes so far –

Molly 32’700m =20.31 miles Karen 2’358m = 1.465 miles Samantha 18’100m = 11.24m Emma 1’750m = 1.08 miles Shauna 1’300m = 0.807 miles and todays NEW entry HUNTER the Alsatian 240m = 0.149 miles (more to come) That’s a grand total of 56’448 m = 35.075 miles

Super proud of everyone, especially Hunter.

Hunter swimming 30 lengths for charity

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MollyFuchs thank you to everyone that has donated so far, please help me reach £2000 so that I can give the 2 charities equal amounts. I will carry on until I can do no more. I won’t say its easy because it isn’t, waves of tiredness get to me and my hip can only take so many lengths without getting the shakes – I reckon my life was meant to be lived without exercise in it but then I would be bored and very very fat! So I will continue what I do with your help of course.

The sign on the motorway says….


I truly think that at times that the cancer is not going to kill me but the overwhelming desire just to fall asleep is, if I don’t pre-record my favourite tv programmes I don’t get to watch them as I end up dosing half way through – even the joys of +1 don’t help as I still don’t manage to watch it second time around.

The weather is getting hotter and hotter and while I love heat more than rain, a menopausal woman on hormone drugs is not a great mix. The pool at Coniston is lovely and cool but I can only manage 1/2 mile at at time, so things are a long haul.

But decided to make it fun and sign up for a Swimming Challenge where I get a medal at the end – not the full 100 miles but I get to go to France without leaving Yorkshire. I had already done 16 miles before the start and I am now have another 2 to add to the mix before today.

Once again I want to say a massive thank you to everyone that has donated, whatever amount as this really motivates me to continue on my journey. As I say the only time I find swimming easy is when I am on holiday, lazing with a cocktail in hand dipping in and out of the pool just to cool off! Will have to wait until Sicily next May but hope that I have finished all my miles by then.


Have had to sleep on the sofa for many nights this week to keep my dog Casey company downstairs – he woke up Monday morning not being able to walk on his left hind back leg, a trip to the vet saw a prognosis of torn cruciate ligament and an operation the following week.

As an old man of 10 years we were not only looking at a serious operation but also a lengthy recovery time – plus since he was not insured anymore a massive vet bill. He was set home with pain killers, garden rest and a week of waiting – plus a diet as Mum’s extra feeding since Milo’s death had seen him gain a few more kilos than necessary!

Casey before groomers

Friday came and you would think he was a different dog and that he knew that an imminent operation was on the cards, back to his old self, not a limp in sight. A trip to the dog groomers also lifted his mood and he was like a puppy again. So Vets have agreed to postpone the op and we see how it goes – DIET is still to go ahead!

Update on bucket list to do’s

Have booked and paid for a ride in a Porsche (my favourite car) just need organise a date

Going to Bingo on the 23rd July with friends – Buzz Bingo Keighley here we come – winner winner chicken dinner!

Have taken an IQ Test online with Mensa – said it was a good effort 10/18 hated the puzzle questions and got all the normal ones correct. Bit of fun really.

Scarf 98% finished just need to put the tassles on the end

When I can get tickets will take my brother to see Leeds Utd play a league match at Elland Road

Quick edit on treatment – have had to be off treatment while having teeth done but will be starting back again Thursday with blood tests Wednesday. Have had a request for mammogram on 20th August and should hopefully be getting my 4 monthly check up in August too. Until then I will just EMBRACE each day.