Well that’s what one of the nurses said to me on Monday but not in the way I would have hoped!
Monday I had to go and have my PICC line fitted ready for chemo, I have notoriously horrible roll veins (ones that bugger off) so this was the ideal way for me to have chemo administered and bloods taken without being stabbed to death every time. To say I was nervous was an understatement as needles are not my friends.
Got to the HODU ward in plenty of time and we went for a cheeky little cuppa to calm my nerves – sometimes you wish for something stronger! All the staff are great and I was to looked after by two nurses, one training (well everyone has to) and the staff nurse.
Gel was applied to my arm so that they could look on the ultrasound machine to see which was the best and juiciest of veins – well guess what there wasn’t a lot of choice and mine seem to be hiding near the artery!! It took a lot of time finding it then scrubbing and gowning up like in a operating theatre (I did ask if they wanted to knock me out instead- but that wasn’t an option, just numbing cream applied 20 minutes prior)
I tried not to look while they first tried to get in through my skin – elephant hide is very similar so it seems – and when it comes to tough skin then it happens I have tough veins and the pain was too much. So I was stabbed again but this time I was numbed properly so I felt nothing and the staff nurse took over as she said I wasn’t your “normal” patient – which I could have told anyone.
Line was fitted and it still wasn’t easy as I am allergic to all the plasters that they have so they had go searching for one big enough that won’t set me off in blisters – did I tell anyone that I am high maintenance? Then it was a quick trip to radiology to check that the line was in the right position near my chest – god knows I didn’t want it doing again so prayed really hard when I was breathing in and out as they scanned me. Worked though – power of prayer is wonderful!
So now I was useless in both arms although to be fair my left arm was a lot better pain wise but I have been told not heavy lifting for the whole 6 months – gets me out of a multitude of things! But I can drive again when the pain has subsided but not long distances.
Went back yesterday (Wednesday) to have line checked and dressing changed. Expected to be there for a long time as they were very busy and running about an hour and half late but a nurse came up to Mum and me and said that she had recognised my Mum the other day from when my Dad was treated there and what a lovely man he was. She couldn’t believe it was 5 years since he died. Hope in years to come I will be remembered by strangers – but not yet have too much living to do yet!
Tomorrow I have to go back again and it will be then to sign the consent for chemo and my bloods to be taken. Then it will be all systems go next week maybe as early as Monday. I am nervous, would be silly not to be but its things like how will it feel when its going through my body, will I have a reaction, how soon will I lose my hair and will I be physically sick (not into vomit)
But this week has been all about the positives:-
- Treatment is finally starting and I can see a future even if its months away
- My concentration has started to come back and I have read two books
- The weather has been beautiful and I have managed to get out for a walk a couple of times
- Liz and Jackie are coming to visit tonight – miss everybody and will be great to catch up on gossip
So onwards and upwards!
5 thoughts on “I am tough…..”
Thanks for this. I felt i was sitting with you. Hoping chemo goes ok when that starts. Stay strong. Xx
thanks Pauline, went to sign consent today and give blood so chemo starts on Monday – bring it on x
Stay strong Molly…..hope you are ok x
I am feeling better thanks Wendy in time for my next chemo session on Tuesday. Hope to be back at work soon x
Thanks Wendy I will xx