I have been trying to write this blog post for a few days now but kept putting it off.
What can I say since given the news over a week ago that the cancer had spread to my bones. I was expected to have a scan last Friday but this was cancelled as they need to do a PET scan instead to show the spread- but no time frame for this.
Had a bit of a meltdown last Tuesday at work when I couldn’t stop crying and was told to take some time off, trying to have empathy with customers who are angry that their refund hasn’t been in their bank account in 3 days has been challenging at times.
It gave me time to think about TIME- and what I want to do with what I have left and the END. I have been in contact with Leeds University to donate my body for medical research and as long as I don’t die on a Bank Holiday I should be good to go. Forms just to be signed and sent. As a Yorkshire woman good to know that I can save money on the funeral as they pay for the cremation after and I am being put to good use!
Feeling frustrated as just been told that the request for my scan is in the system but they can’t say when it will happen don’t they realise that TIME is not on my side plus I am very impatient.
One thing that I found is important is friends and on Friday and Saturday two special ones Aileen and Dave came to my town for a visit. As a nurse it was great to talk to Aileen about everything and boy did we laugh!
We went on a tour of the Dales, did a bit of retail shopping in Grassington -I did get knocked over by a car who was reversing and was winded (think someone up there has it in for me!)
We also went to see if we could see Wallace and Gromit at the Wensleydale cheese factory in Hawes. They weren’t there but plenty of cheese!
Coming back we went and experienced the new normal eating out. Lovely to sit have a drink, good food and great company.
Sunday I returned to work and although challenging at times and nearly 9 hours sitting on a chair is uncomfortable I managed it and yesterday I went and did it again!
Days are very up and down and while I am positive on the whole not everyday is the same.
But I feel lucky to have fantastic friends and family by my side.